Today is the first day of my journey. I had some “gentle”-and by gentle I mean screaming in my face jumping up and down-prodding by friends that kept telling me I need PATIENCE. It’s like a dirty word to me, PATIENCE. It has NEVER been my strong suit to have PATIENCE. So, last night my friend suggested a yoga pose for me to do, and to hold it for 5 minutes. Oh, those 5 minutes were pure hell for me. The most amazing thing-is I made it! I crawled into “bed” and I wrote the chaos of my thoughts onto paper and fell asleep. This morning, I woke up, and I said to myself, “Today is a new day. I will be better from now on.” And so I did my long stretches for the first time in YEARS. And it HURT. It hurt to stretch, and it hurt to bend, and it hurt my joints. I made it. Then I decided to take a walk. Not just walk around the cul-de-sac. No, I walked the ENTIRE addition. a good 45 minute walk. I haven’t had any tea or pop today-and it is HARD. I need these changes. My head needs these changes. My heart needs these changes. My life needs these changes. My children need these changes. I know this journey will be hard, and I am accepting of that. This is only a tiny little step that I’ve chosen to make in my life. I am trying to walk-not run-from the ruin of my marriage, the health scare that could have been worse, the events of the past two months that left me utterly emotionally crippled and devastated. I have some wonderful friends in my life-they are more than friends, they are family. My family…they all mean well, but they don’t grasp the severity of the these things that have happened to me. No one really does unless they’ve been there. I highly doubt anyone has been in these Reeboks…but I have made a step in the direction towards healing. It may not be the right step for a lot of people, but it’s a step for me-and that, that is where it all begins.
