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*I hope you all read the link before reading this post*

Spoons.

That’s an odd way to describe our daily struggle.

But it’s right.  It’s so absolutely fucking right to say we get 12 spoons a day, generally speaking, but we can lose a spoon or two for the next day.  Or we can have an extra when we have those “Good days”.

The daily decisions that alot take for granted are our daily struggles, hourly struggles.  How one itty bitty teeny tiny choice a healthy person can take half our spoons for the day.

It’s easy to assume since we “don’t look sick” that we don’t struggle.

This is what my BIL has.  12 spoons.  Like the rest of us with chronic illness.  He’s always worried about taking care of Sis and Bitty Bug, that they won’t be taken care of when he’s gone.  And it’s an understandable and valid and very real fear.  He nearly worked himself into the hospital.  He had to take almost 3 months off and be on short-term disability.  This is when she found the spoon theory.  He ran out of spoons.  He ran out of all the utensils in the kitchen, and he used his neighbors kitchen implements as well.  My sister was scared, so was my niece-and rightly so.  Me too-and I was scared for my sis and niece.

Lately I feel as if I’ve had 6 spoons..and choosing what to do..drains me to just think about.  I know I have to get up and pee, wake up the kids and take them to school.  There goes 2 spoons.  4 left for the day.  Choose wisely.  Gotta eat, there goes another.  3.  Gotta get the kids, so I’m down to 2.  Feed them and remind them it’s shower night.  1 left.  The last spoon has been me time-binging in front of the TV.  No spoons, and I’m spent.

So, maybe those of you that are having alot of uncaring and uninformed people in your life can try to use Spoon Theory to shed a little light on your situation.  Maybe it’ll help, maybe it won’t.  But hey, in the end, they’re your spoons.  Use them according to your day.

Much Love From You’re Sass

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