After my horrid day and evening I woke at the sleeping-in time of 6:30 am. With no alarm-be it iPhone, dog or child. Fabulous. Monkey came in about a half hour later and I started to read some blogs I missed, and was tickled enough to laugh-I real HAHAHA, not a heh. Shocked?! I was too. I decided upon getting out of the bed and taking a shower-which was an open invitation to pain later. It was a DELIGHTFUL experience! I even used all of the hot water! ALL OF IIIIIIIIIT!! It was a much-needed thing-to use all the hot water. I shaved my legs, my armpits and Charlotte. I scrubbed with Bath and Bodywork’s “Stress relieving Spearmint and Eucalyptus Body Scrub” that was wonderful. The scent, not so much. Ewww. I washed and conditioned my hair. Scrubbed my feet with good scrubby stuff and a scrubby thingy, and scrubbed my body AGAIN! I washed my face, and rinsed my hair and body in coldish water. God it felt AMAZING.
I proceeded to start the lotion process-hair first then face-but forgot my eye serum so I put it on OVER my moisturizer and it stung like a mother fucker-and finished with my body. I brushed my hair, spritzed my piercing to help it heal more, then blow dried my hair. I didn’t clean up my entire bathroom mess, but a tiny portion-like hair outta the tub.
I tackled DISHES.
It took me about 90 minutes to do what I usually do in 30-45 because of my effed up shoulder, but I DID IT! I then had to sit with TWO bags of peas on my shoulder and arm. I also attacked the Tupperware cabinet and disposed of containers without lids and vice-versa. God it felt fucking great. That damn cabinet has taunted me for AGES! *FYI the only reason I did the cabinet is because my mom is out-of-town and she can’t stop me from keeping things we don’t need. Low level hoarder, but I love her*
MY SISTER AND I GOT TO SPEND SISTER TIME TOGETHER! It was very nice. The air was, not cleared, but explained, and much-needed. *My sis has OCD, panic anxiety and SAD. So I can sympathize with some things, but I’m TOTALLY clueless on others* I told her that I’m taking things really personally lately, and she said it’s hard not too. I told her I’m tired of being the one to text people and being the one concerned for everyone when they can’t extend the same courtesy. And we had an honest heart-to-heart conversation about chronic illness vs cancer/disease. My BIL (Brother-In-Law) has MS. It will never get better, and his cognitive memory is starting to be more affected, so my sister IS his brain. She explained it as “We have already started at the bottom of the well. I don’t feel sorry for someone with cancer. They have the chance to get better.” My BIL does not. As someone who has CARED for PEOPLE-not PERSON, but PEOPLE-with MS, I know. I know where they are headed and it’s fucking scary and sad and it fucking sucks, so they are making the most of everything NOW. And to that, I commend my Sis, BIL and Bitty Bug. I too, Hell, all my peeps with MI know it’s chronic. It won’t go away or get better. We aren’t looking for a god damned cure. We just want fucking stability. That’s not too fucking much to ask for, is it?! (I’m going to do a post about spoons, and you’ll understand later) BIL already has a limited number of spoons daily, and he has to choose what to use those spoons for. Maybe the spoons will help SOME people to better grasp MI better…it’s worth a shot.
After sis left, DB text me and asked if I’d seen Interstellar and I said no. So he said it’s good, and that it made him cry. I was like REALLY?? He said yes. I said, I always knew you had a heart in there somewhere. And I’ll be stoned to death by the one without sin if he didn’t open up and be honest to me. I couldn’t respond I was so floored! So he offered to bring it by so I could watch it. I asked if he could get me a pop, and he did. Shit I forgot to pay him back. Anyway, he stayed for two and a half hours. We were VERY civil. He ACTUALLY talked and played with Monkey and talked to NSLM. I told him about the school issue. About my car and that I paid for the repairs myself. *I’m still waiting on a trophy for that accomplishment* That I have to have an MRI with dye..that there’s a small possibility that I could need surgery, but I’m praying I don’t. But we were fucking NICE and CIVIL. I really want things to be like that. Civil. For the sake of the kids-and my sanity, too. Maybe there’s some of that peace I asked for on New Year’s coming through, and the other day in the bathroom.
I took my meds later in the day, and that seems to be helping with the rapid cycling. As in-I haven’t today. It’s a tiny peek into the ever elusive stability. I pray I can get it for a few days. *I spelled prey and not pray and I caught it. That would have been an awkward sentence, right?!* The weather here has been gloomy-fuck it’s been rainy and thunder-storming, and even hailed for a minute or three-and it’s been chilly. But I’m not up or down. I’m calm and zen and aaaaahhhh. Maybe it’s my boohoo from last night. Maybe it’s that my parents are out-of-town for the wedding-which was beautiful, so I’m being told as I write this. Maybe it’s the calming essential oil I put on after my amazing shower this morning. Who fucking knows and I don’t give a flying fucking rat’s ass.
All I know, is that today has been a good day.