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I started off with 12.

SpockI WISH I had started off with 12 of THESE

I had 8-not bad for someone who pretty much splatted last night and actually woke up feeling good.

After bulinner, I came back here and spent some time mindlessly and aimlessly wondering about the inter and outer-webs.  I then went to get NSLM and I slowly felt a spoon being ever-so-slightly tugged out of my grasp.  I lost said spork as I sat in the parking lot at school when NSLM asks “Can I walk to the library?”  “NO!  You could have called me before I drove out here to get you, so I’m taking you home.”  Agitation-o-meter flares up to level 5.

AKspork3These are just Badassery, and are particularly useful when feeling stabby, though I do not condone to do so.

7, 7 Sporks, AH AH AH

I go to get Monkey and wait at her school.  Sporks are being held tightly, but no death grip is used.  NSLM asks if I can get him a pop via text and I said I will.  I grab him and Monkey both a drink and make it back to the house, whereupon I text Cute Neighbor Guy to let him know I’m coming to get labels for garage sale items.  We talk for an hour and end up playing hop scotch with the girls.  His little girl gets her feelings hurt because she doesn’t know how to play hopscotch.  He then proceeds to make new rules up for the “game”.  I told him I don’t want to play any games with him unless I’m on his team.  And even then I’m sure he’ll be shady and change the rules as he goes.  (I think I’m getting kinda good at this flirting thing.  I haven’t done this like…ever?)  He laughed at me and gave this “Well….” kinda look and shrug.  I’m holding on to spork #7 because I can’t really DO whiny kids that don’t get their way or their feelings hurt…the agitation is flaring up…I’m on a 5 on the meter already.

chickensporkBecause we all need a little Ha-Ha funny, and really-SPORKULA

We come back to the house, and then the “I want something to eat, but my dad’s making dinner but I can’t wait until then” schpeel starts….fuck, sporks #7 and #6 just flew out of my grasp.  Clown shoes.  Agitation is now level 7.  WARNING!  WARNING!  DANGER DANGER DANGER!  Red blinky lights, air raid sirens, yellow whirling caution lights are ALL going off like mad.  BREATHE SASS…BREATHE.  NSLM has my phone-no biggie.  Then the “friend that’s a girl” keeps texting and calling so I acquiesce my phone to him.  It’s not like anyone is texting ME.  I’m not letting THIS spoon go that easily!

Kean_TheDisappearingSpoon[1]Ignore the Typo.  I can’t Photoshop my way outta that.

The girls-and by girls I mean Cute Neighbor Guy’s daughter-hears a siren then freaks out that her dad is injured or dying.  Pfffffbt.  Agitation is still at 7.  They run off and it’s FINALLY calmer in here.

Agitation levels are receding to a somewhat “Normal” state.  We will see how long this lasts.

The Units will be back later tonight.  I just hope they don’t interrupt my The Following time.  This will be the FIRST EPISODE I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO WATCH WHILE IT AIRS AND BY GOD I’LL WATCH IT!

Holding on to these clown shoe sporks makes me hungry.  REALLY hungry.  Not Hangry, thank goodness, but like, damn I could really eat something kinda hungry.  I’ll go heat up some chicken and noodles.  I got a whole bunch left from last night.  Waste not, want not.    Damn…I need to do dishes…clown shoes.

Here, just take those sporks.


3 left.

“Choose Wisely”

It’s only 6 pm here.

No shower tonight, cuz I’m watching TV-there’s a spork.  2 left.  One for each hand.  Maybe I’ll use them like knives and cut people’s throats, or hide them up my sleeves to poke unsuspecting men that get too fresh with me.

skullspoongallery4_1024x1024Or maybe I’ll hoard them like gold.

Amazing_Glorious_Golden_Spork_by_bumblefly“My Precioussssssssss”

Eh.  I’ll let you know later.


*All “spoons” were changed to “sporks” when I needed a spoon picture then changed my mind.  I found WAY better images, anyway.