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3 hours.

I was there for three fucking hours.

My SCHEDULED appointment was at 10.

I was FINALLY called back at Noon.

Did the schpeel-“No I’m not suicidal, No I don’t want to harm others.  No I don’t THINK I’m hallucinating, but I feel my friend with me all the time and he’s 1,000 miles away and we haven’t talked in months.  Yes, I’m taking my meds like I should.”  My appetite is all over the place, I couldn’t tell you HOW I’m sleeping because I feel like I black out at night.  You know, the mandatory questions.

20 minutes assessment, 35 minute wait for doc approval.

Plan: Partial Inpatient.

I’m okay with that.  I need SOMETHING that can help this shit place I’m in.  But I know the drill there.  We talk about all of our stuff, then we have lunch, then meet with the dr as needed-10-15 minutes tops and there’s a ‘magic solution’ pfffffbt-then positive phrase thing.  Yes, I know I’m sounding all Debbie Downer right now, and I don’t MEAN to..it’s just, where I am.  Gimmie a few hours then I’ll be breathing fire because there’s too much noise.  It’s the No-Win zone right now, and I keep watching the boomerang going round and round.

What I wouldn’t give for a little less autopilot and a little more Driving Miss Daisy.  I miss looking at the scenery as I drive by, and getting lost in memories.  I hate the void.

Sigh…time to go get the kids, take my work comp check to the bank and get gas since it’s going up and up and up!  Gotta love Indy in the month of May!

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