So Monkey started weeding the raised garden bed and I went to join her. She became easily distracted, as an 8-year-old does by worms, so I naturally finished. She brought me a hair thingy to throw my hair up with as it was dragging in the dirt as a pulled, tilled and dug. As I did this I found a VERY odd sense coming over me that I haven’t felt in a VERY long time. It was a sense of peace. It was a sense of watching my self work towards a goal with pretty instantaneous rewards, and I found my mind clear and calm for once. Given all the shit that’s been going on, I needed this, very very badly. My mind wasn’t wandering as it had been, nor was it preoccupied with reactions my body was feeling to the stressors of the chemicals in my body warring to exit stage center with speed and ungrace. ANd i found something else out that I has quite shocked me: I loved it. Let me start by saying I have never ever ever Ever EVER wanted to garden or til the earth and get dirty and smell earthy. Ew ew ew ew. I also do not have a green thumb or even a green fingernail. I kill the easiest plants to keep alive-I killed an aloe plant. HOW is that even POSSIBLE?! Please, do not have me watch your houseplants if you ever go on vacation. They will surely perish if left in my care for 24 hours. Today though, I found that I really liked the feeling of the soil under my hands, caked under my fingernails and feeling it roll through my fingers. Now I can see why so many people find this calming, and rewarding. Now I would like to learn how to tend said raised garden bed and NOT kill the plants. Maybe this summer marks a turning point in my life. Who knows?
Before Sorry this picture is blurry-I had to hurry as a pop up thunderstorm was approaching
And this is my reward for enjoying the soil and getting my mind to a calm state without the help of medication or texting someone mindlessly. I’ve only had a few sips of it since I started this post, and you know? I may not even FINISH it!