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I give up on people.  I give up on letting people in.  I give the fuck up on people having the fucking decency to tell me they have shit going on, or God forbid answer a simple text message (sound familiar, Morgue?)  I give up on having faith in other people’s honesty towards me.  I give up on being treated like a person-a WOMAN with feelings.  I give up on even thinking I’m important to others outside of WP.  *I’m just as invisible out here as I am in digital format-as in you can’t touch or see me*.  I give up on people I make important in my life, that can’t make me feel the same.

I’m so fucking tired of being the friendly, girl-next-door, free spirit who always believes in all the naive things of life-fairy tales, princes, castles, love.  I am so fucking tired of getting hurt over and over and over because I have a genuinely huge heart of gold.  I know I am a good woman, a good mom, a good friend.  I know I’ll be a good wife and lover.  My heart aches to feel special, wanted, needed, loved.  My soul is battered and bruised and crushed and I’ve lost my faith, my hope, my dreams at times.  I hurt, and I’m tired of hurting and feeling unwanted and used.  I’m tired of being broken.  I’m tired of feeling unimportant and unwanted.

I’m just SO TIRED…

I don’t want to hurt anymore, so it’s easier to stop letting people in, that way I can’t be disappointed anymore when I’m brushed aside.

I mean, she doesn’t have a lot, but she’s honest and has a good heart and loves with everything she’s got..it is what it is with her. She’s wise beyond her years, and gets the situation and she’ll understand more than anyone will ever know.  She’s just been brushed aside so much  that she’s lost hope…

She’s given up, and she’s accepting she will be a husk of a woman-a person for the rest of her life…

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