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Can’t tell.  Could be both.  I’ve changed the sheets on the bed and pillow cases and febreezed everything in the way.  I vacuumed twice.  I dusted and put up the pig stuff so it’s just not OUT.  I started the dishwasher, made tea at 630 am, made mom her coffee.  I have swept the hard floors and steam mopped them.  I have one load of laundry left.  I have cleaned the bathroom and the front and garage doors on the inside.  I went and got my mom her meds and smoky treats.

And it’s 3 pm-or I should say it’s ONLY 3 pm.  I feel myself trying to crash.  I hate this fucking bullshit!  I’m over-fucking-emotional yesterday…and today I feel like I can take on the world, put the Reblicans in their rightful idiotic places, cure world hunger, mow the lawn-because NSLM didn’t do it to my liking (cheesus)-and at the same time I feel like I’m made of steel-cold, strong, unbending unless introduced to fire.  I feel like I went on auto pilot this morning-yes I’m taking my damn meds, don’t worry.  I’m just…I’m just…I’m just here, I guess.  

Sigh

The Bipolat Coaster at its finest-never slowing down to let you catch a breath or get the fuck off the god damn ride!

I gotta pee, but I’m not leaving this prime parking spot at Monkey’s school.  Priorities, right?  Fuckit.  IDGAF anymore.  It’s getting easier to isolate myself from even the people I live with.  No one notices.  *Shrugs*   Used to it.  Invisible Sass even when her life falls apart.  I don’t care anymore.  I am ready to pack my shit and vacate this place.  It’s not like anyone would really stop me or care.  Whatever.  I’m over it.  

*Drops mic, walks away

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