*Warning: Boring and Dull Content Ahead*
I have had a LOT on my mental platter recently, as you all well know. These past three weeks have drained me physically, mentally and emotionally. I have not been coping well. I spent money I was saving for gas for my trip back from Tennessee last weekend. I’m reverting to old habits because I am flat out overloaded and overstimulated by life. I’m trying to escape, heaven KNOWS I am trying, but right now I feel pretty bad. Not bad as in depressed, but more disappointed in myself for spending money designated for a certain purpose.
The trip to Tennessee was interesting-as I drove down 65 South, in construction, at night, IN THE RAIN, with only tiny lane markets in the middle of the road. I did 65 the entire way, and google maps was a douche and couldn’t decide on the best route so I did it for him-because let’s face it: men can NOT ask for directions, let alone give them out in any coherent manner. I made it safely to my destination, into which I walked into the god damned Arctic. So glad I took my warm fuzzy blankie. I was under a sheet and THREE blankets and STILL FROZEN! I was a Sasscicle (Blah, copyright please!! Kiss kiss).
Saturday it rained ALL DAMN DAY. I got dressed long enough to go to the store so my cousin could make me his chili his momma said to make for me (yeah, I’m special like that!). It was damn good, too-AMLOST as good as Daddy’s. He made me my apple cinnamon moonshine-yes, I am spoiled-got tipsy and wore a tiara around the house. You get what you get with me! I cleaned up my cousin’s room-he did a great job before I got there but I couldn’t handle the rest. He didn’t like that-he broke out in hives. His sister said its because he’s allergic to his clean room! Then guess who shot a gun?? A .410 single barrel rifle. Pretty damn good shot too.
As I was lying down my mom text me urging me to sober up and get some gas money to go home right then and there, as my sister had just come from the er and has viral meningitis. So, of course, being the emotional, bipolar big sister 4 hours away I freak out and had to take extra anxiety meds. Needless to say I still didn’t sleep well. I woke at 730 having a panic attack that my sister was in the ICU dying. Thanks mom-you KNOW I’m the one that catastrophises any situation when it comes to my family. So I laid there, fidgeting for 4 hours before my cousin woke up and got motivated.
I packed up, got my goodies and thanked my family for the stay. Talked to my cousin long enough with my car door open I needed a jump-3rd time that week. Away I went back to Indiana. I was sad to leave because we couldn’t really do anything because of the rain Saturday and going home Sunday, but it was so nice to NOT be in the city or the suburbs. The drive back was longer. I took the right lane of the divided highway and did a whopping 40mph for about 20 miles. And I’m so glad I did because the left lane had had a HORRIBLE accident where the lanes merged back together. I had to pull off in Sonora, pee, get a drink and have a panic attack-mind you my body is still shaky from the one earlier in the morning. I should not have driven home then. I took more medicine to calm my nerves than medically necessary.
I made it home and my cousin text me almost right as I walked in the door to make sure I made it home. We chatted a little, but he had taken so much Benadryl that day he totally zoned out. No biggie-I had to put some stuff away and get myself and kids ready for bed.
It was a nice break and I’m planning to go back to spend more time with my other cousin who is BP 1 like me, and a recovering addict. She gave my NSLM clothes from HER NSLM-all Aero, since that’s all Nanny buys for him. Hey, not my house, not my mess. We are grateful for the clothes. She and I were talking and she was like an AK47 with bursts of chatter. Her son was like, “Mom! Slow down she can’t understand you.” I said, “Oh honey, I have a sister and I understand your momma just fine.” He looked sceptical-as all teenage boys and men do. It’s like twin talk. Plus-2 BP1 people in a 3 foot vicinity of each other, ain’t nuthin stoppin THAT conversation!
So I had a decent weekend-minus Saturday’s rain. I watched my first Alabama college football game, followed by the Gators. I paid slight attention as my blood alcohol content was increased-and my tiara was fun for a bit. I’m hoping to go steal my cousin for the week.
And whoop her brother’s damn ass for something COMPLETLY uncalled for. But that’s another post for tomorrow…