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I am waving my white flag of surrender.  I concede defeat on this day and on my fragile emotional state that the doctors don’t seem to concerned about.  Assholesonsabitches.  FFS I’ve been doing everything PROACTIVE to keep from falling further into the rabbit hole.  Today, I call it quits on trying to function even as a zombie.  Panxiety set in at the tire place.  10 different calls made for various reasons to various people for various appointments.  Wtf happened to common fucking curtesy and fucking decency when leaving a voicemail saying it’s imperative you call ASAP?!  Or to even check the god damn thing for Christs sake.  Not in the mood to deal with the above taking offense.  My blog, my emotions, my words.  FUCKEST THOU if you want to ride my ass over that.  I have bigger shit to deal with right now.

Teeth clenching for 3 hours, panxiety at level 7-8, pacing, hunger, guilt, loss, isolation, invisiblity, frustration, anger-and throw some hate in for good measure, and I’m a walking time bomb.  Fuck my muscles hurt from the 2 hours I clenched them together.  

  My white flag of surrender-Buspar, Klonopin, Ativan, and Celexa
I have climbed into Fort Blanket and plan to reside here until further notice.  If you need me, or are über concerned about me, email, call or text.  Cuz right now, I just can’t cope with it.

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