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8 Truths You Have to Accept Before Your Second Marriage – http://wp.me/p28Cn3-2PG

Of you all have followed my blog from early on, you will know the abuse my children and I have suffered at the hands and mindset of my estranged husband.  For so long I have waited for an apology that I’ve always known I will never get, because I’ve felt that I have been owed that.  After reading this article, SOOOOO MUCH makes sense to me now.  It’s like all of the gears have clicked into place and I finally fucking get it.  Yes, our marriage was spooned from the start, but I tried so hard.  I did everything I thought and felt I should do, and it was never enough.  But it wasn’t me, and it still isn’t me, and it will never BE me for the reason of his misery.  It’s self inflicted, something that happened LONG before I ever entered his life, and will continue LONG after I am out of it. 

This article has helped me to see that it’s ok for me to accept the apology I will never get, because it’s not me, that I am worth so much more than the venom he constantly spews, and the misery he still tries to inflict on me and my children.  I look at him and I pity him, honestly, because he will never accept blame or admit to his short comings and wrong doings because it’s always someone else’s fault.  And that’s so sad, and a miserable existence for a person.  But I can’t save him anymore, and it was never worth it anyway.

Now, I have a man that loves and adores me and my heathens, wants to take care of me and marry me and have a life with me and the kids.  He wants to give me everything I never got with DB, and he challenges me to be a better person, mom, partner and supporter.  I am lucky to have found him, as unconventional as our beginning has been, but I will not let go of him.  I’m learning to fight fairly and to push myself in positive ways, and I’m rewarded by a man who loves me so much that I never knew a love like this could exist outside of my books.  He is my Jamie, and I am his Claire.  200 years couldn’t keep them apart, so 1,000 miles is a drop in the bucket for us.

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