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Now, I know I’ve been in the darkness of depression, but have i really been THAT FAR GONE that I’ve missed posts from the blogs I follow??

I know WP app had an update or two, but did I really lose those blogs I love?

Irritating.

On the plus side, I FINALLY got a different phone, thank you to a BADASS manager at a different Verizon store 15 minutes from the house. I was so impressed with the meds she made I took her TWO chocolate bars because I was so thankful. So I have a Galaxy S7, new Otter Box case and screen protector. My mom and I celebrated with champagne and apple cran juice. The champagne was because the developers that wanted to build more warehouses are shot down at a meeting at the city County building. Thank fuck. Fucking idiot kids who didn’t want to take care of their parents farms and land sold it THINKING it would be developed and they’d be rolling in the dough. HA! Dumbasses.

Anyway… I saw Jane on Tuesday because I was just in that desperate states of mind and good love the woman, she just looked at me when I verbal vomited all over her room. And i said, “There are no words.” and she’s said “No. There aren’t.”  That’s how incredibly fucked up I’ve been in my head and life. I’m NOWHERE near the safety zone of a hint of baseline, but, like Chris says, I’m one of his Warrior Princesses. And I’m still fighting even when I don’t think I can.

Today I have been outright lazy. I didn’t get up out of bed until 1 to make me and my heathenous NSLM something to eat, then was back in bed by 2. My fucking head has hurt all day bordering a migraine, along with my back, hips and pelvis. Surgery had been canceled because I have no money (shock, right?) and I’m tired of asking my parents for money to help me out. Hopefully this past time job prospect comes through, because even a LITTLE money will mean I have some fixing independence again. And maybe that will help with this fucking depression. Who fucking knows…

I REALLY wanna binge Outlander, but the thought of moving to the couch is exhausting. I really need the Xfinity app on my phone…

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