I can’t tell if there is some depression coming back or if I’m just bored. I have slept alot this weekend: two naps Saturday and today. Went to bed around 10 Friday night and slept until 930 Saturday morning. Napped from 530-9ish, then went to sleep at 11 Saturday night and was up around 730 this morning. Took a nap from 12ish to 130 when Florida called on his way to work this afternoon. I did manage to fold two loads of laundry and put them away, but that’s it on the productive front. I haven’t bothered to get dressed and I didn’t bother to put on glasses until almost 4 this afternoon when I finally managed to get myself something to eat (which was chicken fries and California blend veggies with cheese). I’ve been in my bed pretty much the majority of the day. Today would have been my Gramma’s 83 birthday, and 19 years since my Grampa was buried. He would be 94. His mom, my great Gramma G was 102 when she passed, I believe. She was a week shy of living in 3 different centuries. She was born in 1898. The things that have happened in the world.
I’ve been hurting on and off, taking advil and tylenol on the regular. Work has kept me busy, which I really do enjoy. Friday I didn’t get to eat lunch because of phone calls and faxes and charts and running here and there. I’m not complaining. I’m grateful to be working and getting experience on the other side of health care in DOC. It’s definitely different. I can tell you that I am tired every night from all of the walking and mental exertion during the week.
I guess today has been a recovery day. Then again, it’s a tough day. So maybe my mind told my body to take it easy today and let things come and go as they do. And they have. It the first time in a long time I haven’t cried for the losses of two special people in my life, but celebrated the joy of being in my life.
I still want to sleep, so maybe I’ll go to bed in an hour.
Glad you are resting up. I am so damned jealous that you are working. I kick myself and keep wondering what I am doing wrong…But I know the answer is, bipolar two. I can’t stabilize long enough to enjoy a season, let alone impress an employer with my functionality. It sucks.
I envy your sense of accomplishment so much. Enjoy for both of us, ok? ❤
I wish, really truly wish that there was a way to kick your bipolar two in the teeth. I know how much you want to work to take care of Spook. I do worry that a manic or mixed episode will pop up and I’ll be back on the depression train. The anxiety kicks in at odd times as well. Seeing as how I had to stop the Rexulti since I rose my blood pressure, I’m wondering about mood stabilizers altogether. So much conflicting information. Maybe I should give lithium another go?
Lithium is that bastard ex I always go back to cos I know, annoying as he is…he makes it better. 😉
I wasn’t on it very long plus I wasn’t monitored for my levels. I’m willing to try it again. As long as my blood pressure doesn’t go up, or my weight. (I honestly think my job is keeping me from going off the depressive end again) The nausea I can handle.
I bet if we wrote a list of meds that failed, we could put Big Pharma outta business. Sounds like a good plan to me.
I can live with the failures. I’d still like to throat punch the fuckers who claim Latuda is safe.
Yes me too. And gouge out their eyes. And make them take it.
I would pay to see you kick bipolar in the teeth. Just sayin’ 😉
Kick bipolar in the teeth and defend Morgue’s honor. Done and done!
I’m so glad you are able to work. My doctor’s are telling me it’s never going to happen for me. But, I’m really glad you are enjoying it.
Thanks. It’s a distraction and it stresses me out some days. I’d really like to yell fuck at the top of my lungs.
I’ll bet.
I hope things are going better by today. I’m so glad you are enjoying your new job, hope it’s not causing you extra pain though!
It’s not. Today is a particularly painful day, but at least I can sort papers to file.